The interesting thing about poly (for me) has been the fact that no matter how much I read about other people's way of navigating the lifestyle, the bottom line is that there are no set rules.
This is a huge advantage for me because I am tired of operating by relationship rules that society has set down. Monogamy wasn't working for me. As a bisexual female, a monogamous lifestyle means that part of my sexuality will not be nurtured.
Alternately- The disadvantage of being in a lifestyle where there are no "agreed upon rules" is that you have to have the maturity and bravery to get started with no rules and no assurances. So- we have tried to make our own rules and when things don't work out quite like we had expected, we have the freedom and ability to re-think them.....it's actually a responsibility.
And now I realize -the security I felt (when I was following the societal norms and rules) was an illusion anyway. It is just this illusion that keeps so many of us tied to cultural "norms" since these traditions promise security.
Relationship security is a reality, but can not be guaranteed by the agreement to engage in certain cultural rituals and to follow the accompanying agreements. Namely marriage- which I have never participated in.
So- as the year draws to a close, I look back on the year that has passed and I feel good about where I am. I feel good about the relationships I have and how we are navigating through them.
I will not be participating in any of the societal "holiday rituals" this year and I'm excited about that! Richard and I will be spending the week of Christmas at the beach!
I hope each of you gets to experience and enjoy the holiday season in the unique way that you choose to experience it!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.