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Old 12-08-2013, 08:45 PM
bookbug bookbug is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

It is great that you and your husband are able to communicate so honestly. Have you tried posing it to him like this: "So back when I was seeing (insert name), how would you have felt if he was all I ever talked to you about? How would you have felt if.... (finish the sentence with whatever applies). Now how do you think I feel?

As others have said, it isn't Lana that is the problem; it is your husband's poor poly skills. He needs to stop and consciously think about his behavior affects others - specifically you.

In regard to your husband talking to you about Lana, I am sure he is eager to share his happiness with his beloved wife. That is somewhat normal. Say the situation were over a favorite hobby. He would want to share. However, even hobbies can get too much. I have one acquaintance who got in bad with his wife because he was spending every spare moment on the golf course. Same result - less time spent together which would erode a feeling of closeness.

I would suggest altering your behavior when he begins to talk about Lana. Say something to the effect, "I would love to talk you, but I'd like to talk about our relationship. Come find me when you can do that." Then leave the room. You don't have to do it angrily. You're just letting him know, it isn't acceptable.
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