Originally Posted by Dagferi
Let me put it to you this way. My marriage was pretty solid when I started my poly journey.
It almost destroyed my marriage. Poly will put a spotlight on every crack and flaw in your marriage and make those flaws magnify.
Poly itself doesn't break up marriages. An inability to communicate your needs and feelings with clarity and accountability, and to meet the needs of your partner with compassion and grace, breaks up marriages.
Many people perceive their relationship as solid until they put it under pressure. A house of cards can easily stand for eternity, as long as the ground doesn't shake and no one tries to lay a brick on top. Still, a house of cards standing in a room of dead air is not to be mistaken for a brick house.
It is helpful to provide people with experiences from your own life. But it's important to be cautious of projecting your own triggers onto other people's lives.