Thank you all for your thoughtful, kind, honest and educated responses. Some new developments have occurred since I posted earlier.
my boyfriend obviously realized he can't deal with me even sleeping with other people so his new condition is that I can only sleep with someone if he can watch and also only if they have a woman he can sleep with in exchange. I find this unrealistic and unreasonable and do not accept these conditions and he is going to have to make the decision to love and accept me for who I am or leave me. If he chooses to stay he will continue to be hurt. I am frustrated right now and insulted by his increasing demands and feel that if he chooses to stay and gets hurt that it is no longer my fault because I have told him what I am capable of (which is polyamory and NOT monogamy) and he simply refuses to accept that. No matter how much I love him I can't change who I am. I am poly to the core, always have been and always will be. For better or worse. He knows I have tried monogamy many times previously and never once did it work. I love him but accept that he may not be able to deal with a poly girlfriend. He will have to decide that for himself. Believe me, if I could change, I would. Actually... No I wouldn't.
I love who I am! Even though it makes relationships more complicated. And thank you to the person who said he should be glad I am honest!! This is how I feel. I feel I am being fair and realistic. I no longer feel I have any reason to feel guilty. Also, thank you to the person who said maybe we need to consider a different relationship model. I am going to suggest this to him this weekend. Because the current model is obviously not working!