Originally Posted by xIceRomancer
I should mention that I am very new to this.
The thing getting to me is that I am discovering new things that were not stated at the beginning. If I am told one thing, I don't expect to find another thing out later on. If he says he is not sexually active with his wife and that is why they are dating other people, I expect it to be that way.
How much communication have you and him done so far? As I read what you have wrote I get the impression really not much. If you desire to be in a poly relationship accepting boyfriend has a spouse whom he may or may not have sex with really only affects your sexual health. Emotional health you really have no say in what he and his wife do together.
If I was in your situation I would read as much as I could on poly relations and then ask him for time to discuss what bothers you, what your needs are and possible areas you are unclear about, his honesty.