True colors have shown, it seems they mean a lot more to each other than he let on. When confronted about it, he said "Of course I wasn't going to say everything when we first started." Which was kind of odd to me.
The thing getting to me is that I am discovering new things that were not stated at the beginning. If I am told one thing, I don't expect to find another thing out later on.
So it seems it is more the (leaving things out/lies of omission about his feelings toward his wife) makes you question his forthrightness and trustworthiness?
And his (blase not a big deal type attitude) about being called into account by you bugs you because this is not showing care/concern for your feelings?
And you don't want to probe deeply about sex share with his wife to learn that he lies about THAT too?
Like not the (sex share) part of it but the (less than honest / lies part) of it that is getting your goat the most?
What outcome would you like best or hope for in this situation? Not sure what to tell you other than I am sorry you are experiencing this.
And that your expectation of clear communication so you can make informed decisions about what you want to participate in is not unreasonable to have.