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Old 03-31-2010, 07:15 PM
CFstasha CFstasha is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Chicagoish, IL
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This was probably the most significant and amazing thing I noticed after DH and I talked and I really started to believe it was all for real. I feel like I'm remembering how to be in love, and it's something I'm not sure I'd have realized I was even missing without having my shiny new boyfriend in my life.

For example, SNBF reminded me how much I value kissing in intimacy, and I kiss DH more now. I didn't even realize that while we're very cuddly and affectionate people and that's never changed, we'd kind of stopped kissing. I feel more connected and present with my husband in general, though, and much more in love with him that I can remember feeling in years.

One thing that really struck me during my last visit with SNBF was that I felt the need to touch him when we were close. Little absent-minded scratchies, a hand on the leg or the back. Because I had to temper this the first time we were together because we still hadn't talked to his other partner and we didn't know what we wanted, I noticed it. It was PAINFUL not to touch him. It felt so significant and it made me question my connection to him in comparison to DH, until I realized I do that with DH all the damn time. I've just taken it so for granted that I didn't realize it was such a powerful impulse. I started noticing when I feel the need to snuggle up to my husband, or to hug him randomly as just that, a NEED that would feel awkward if I wasn't able to satisfy it. And noticing the things we've taken for granted *holy crap is that powerful stuff.

I'm in the same euphoric state that you've got going on. It's bloody amazing! I seriously feel like meeting SNBF might be the best thing that could've happened to my marriage, and that's something that people who aren't open to the idea of poly will never, ever comprehend.
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