To her? She was your metamour - you weren't dating her. I wouldn't want a relationship where I would have to ask for her permission every step of the way. That is his job, to handle his relationship with his wife. Not yours.
Sorry it ended sadly for you.
Hinge in a poly-fi vee
Wife to DarkKnight (8 years, mono)
Girlfriend to PunkRockAwesomesauce (2 months, mono)