Thread: Mono People.
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Old 12-06-2013, 08:51 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,467

I am curious: what ARE your new mono guy's motivations? Why would a mono person choose to date someone who is already in two relationships already? I could understand if he happened to meet you and fell for you, but if you met online and your profile was clear...I am puzzled and curious, if you don't mind sharing.
He is finalizing his divorce right now (papers are filed, separation requirements have been completed and he is just waiting for the final decree) and isn't looking for another wife. He says he likes the idea of being committed but that I am not going to try and get him to marry me or get pregnant or try & move in. He doesn't want any of that. Neither do I. I guess the single mono chicks he's seen haven't matched up with his current frame of mind. He also says I do match up, really well with him, and he thinks I'm beautiful, smart and all-together awesome. *shrugs*

He seems fairly laid back and is a very sweet, kind hearted guy. He is also very wrapped up in his job and mentioned that as one of the reasons for his divorce. Since I can't give him 100% of my time, that has been ok with me so far. I think that if I were a single mono girl I might find that upsetting, but it hasn't been an issue yet.

He has said straight out that he doesn't think that he himself is looking to see anyone else and that he is looking to be mono with me. He is ok with me being poly. Again, I think this may have to do with time constraints because of how much effort he puts into his job. We will see how it goes. He had one night this week open to see me, and he scheduled me into it immediately. This was last night. He pretty much fell asleep on the couch while I was over. It was clear he wanted to see me, but was just exhausted from his job. I went home and didn't sleep over because he was planning on driving to work at 5 am the next day. Craziness.

I am seeing where it goes. I am still seeing other people from OKC until I can judge how much time - quality time - he is going to be able to give me. Watching South Park while he dozes is ok once in a while, but that is the niche my husband fills for me!
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (40F)
Wife to DarkKnight (41M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (44M)

Last edited by Bluebird; 12-06-2013 at 08:57 PM.
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