Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
Now put it back in poly context: You have a crush on an ex who, lucky for you, is poly, and doesn't have to make that "him or you" decision unless you force her to. And like RP said, forcing her to make that decision may be a huge disappointment. Personally, I've always had a rule that anyone who gave me an ultimatum would get the losing end of it.
Yeah, I agree with this.
I think you can approach her freely, but it needs to be on poly terms. Even if she wasn't with this guy, she's still poly, and a similar situation would probably come up eventually, right? So getting rid of this guy wouldn't solve anything.
In other words, by all means approach her about the relationship, unless in your mind being with her is conditional on her being only with you. Because that's a losing situation for everyone, in this case.