Thank you guys so much.
I am glad to hear there are people out there who go through similiar things. I haven't actually met many guys (maybe one?) who are sneaking. They tend to be pretty upfront about their martial or relationship status and WHY they want to fool around. Some are deeply unhappy. Some just want non-vanilla sex. Others just want NRE.
I was involved with a cheater for a year. I feel for him because he was extremely consistent and attentive. In 100 guys, he was the only date I'd ever had who texted to see if I got home ok. We connected on many levels and I empathized with his marital issues (which mirrored my own). The sex part was short lived, However, we continued an intense friendship that was only marginally known by his wife. He was so open with me, at first, but then I realized he was telling lies about everything to his wife, to his friends, to me. Any communication was shut down, and I stopped speaking with him about 2 months ago. For whatever reason, I'm still grieving the friendship. I do want to be friends again and hope we can, but I just can't meet him at his level right now. He has shit to solve in his marriage and I'm tired of being the distraction.