Originally Posted by london
Most poly documentaries I've seen are about religious nuts. I think you've got to accept that your boyfriend doesn't want this. Give him some links to read, if he isn't interested in this, he won't read them. But do stop thinking of ways to get him to feel the same as you.
He's not uninterested per se, he was okay with it before (technically), but he's in general part of the group of people that believes relationships have to work effortlessly or it's just not really meant to be. I differ believing sometimes they're hard work. I know poly can work but I also know it takes work and some effort from everyone involved and I need him to see that that's okay (actually this would be a problem for our relationship in general, except that usually we get along so well that things ARE effortless. But I know it can't be like that all the time)
He actually agreed to talking about it again sometime since he's not opposed to the idea per se. I'd say there's quite a chance he'll agree to try again, we still have the sexually open relationship and he's not strongly opposed to relational openness in itself. But it went wrong and I'm afraid it will again if he doesn't get some info on how these things go, like that it's OKAY to sometimes feel bad about smth and talk about it instead of assuming that something that makes you feel bad once is "apparently not meant to be that way". Sometimes I fear the day that even just the two of us run into trouble. I mean, we've had quite our share of bad luck lately and stuck together through it without many trouble, and I know we're really not prone to arguing a lot. But still, the day may come.