Thread: A Dilemma
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Old 03-31-2010, 03:43 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by jv02vd View Post
I'm planning on telling her how I feel. Me being a monogamous sort though, it feels weird "confessing" to a girl in a relationship, even an open one, and especially if that can't help but carry the message that I'm asking her if she wants to leave him for me.
I don't think it's fair to ask that of her. She's with this guy because she's happy with him. Knowing about your condition, is it possible she avoided the word "love" in order to spare your feelings?

Take it out of poly context for a moment. You and she broke up, and now she's happy with a new guy. What gives you the right to break them up just because your old feelings have come back?

Now put it back in poly context: You have a crush on an ex who, lucky for you, is poly, and doesn't have to make that "him or you" decision unless you force her to. And like RP said, forcing her to make that decision may be a huge disappointment. Personally, I've always had a rule that anyone who gave me an ultimatum would get the losing end of it.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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