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Old 12-05-2013, 06:50 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern US...
Posts: 182

I'm agreeing on the we+, as a beginner, compared to the individual.

Here's an example out of my life. When AM and I started falling in love, I was really open with WI about it. We didn't go anywhere, because WI wasn't comfortable with it and we were slowly negotiating my poly life. I spent a ton of time traveling in the summer, just as AM and WI started getting to know each other better. They unexpectedly fell for each other and built their thing independently. When I got back, AM and I built our thing, as well. Now, we happen to have a grand old time when it's all three of us, together, too.

Independence can be difficult, at times, but done right, it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Compersion comes built in for all three of us - as long as each individual relationship is doing well, we're happy to see the other two together. NOT being happy with the other two together is a sign we use to measure if something is going wrong, an obvious and immediate check-in moment.