Originally Posted by Emm
You may find it useful to read this thread: Monos Who Claim to be Poly - Why Do I Care?
The trouble with using a word that already exists is that people tend to assume that it still means what it meant the last time they heard it. He can identify as poly if he wishes to, hell, he can identify as an aardvark if he chooses, but if he's not a complete douche he should explain to any potentials that his definition probably doesn't match the one with which they are familiar. It's not ethical to pull a bait 'n switch if he's really mono and just out to sow his wild oats.
That said, from what you've told us this situation has "Disaster" written all over it. It sounds not so much like he wants to date for a while, but that he wants to rub your nose in the fact that he's doing it. These women that he hopes to lure in with the poly label aren't going to be relationship material, they're weapons he can use against you.
Edit:No. In my opinion it's not. Are you going to spend the rest of your life trying to make restitution for something you did when you weren't even in a relationship with him? That's complete and utter bullshit. If you act like a doormat he'll keep treating you like one.
Why do you think they won't be relationship material, but weapons? Not saying you're wrong, just curious why you think he isn't genuinely trying to see what's out there and experience other things? Or that he isn't genuinely trying to move on, and that I'm just a back-up option?
I get what you're saying about me not cheating. I think he believes I did, because while we were broken up in the summer, we were also still talking and hanging out and occasionally hooking up. So I think he saw it as a temporary break-up, with us getting back together once stuff was "figured out".... much the way I'm seeing it now, I guess.