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Old 12-05-2013, 12:14 PM
EpsilonLyr EpsilonLyr is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Pacific Northwest, U.S.A.
Posts: 27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousMe View Post

Even once you get there and she is okay with having an open marriage, things may not be easy on her. I can tell you from personal experience that, after opening a marriage, having a partner start a new and fairly serious relationship is hard...and I am the one who started off with the poly tendencies!! (New and unknown is scary, no matter who you are!)
Yeah I could see that. Taking it slow and bracing for those speed bumps sounds like the way to go. And of course I'm totally open to Leigh reciprocating if she found someone too, understanding I'd still have jealousy to channel positively as much as possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post

Take a look through your phone and if you see that you've been the one to get in touch first at least twice in a row, give her some space. If your texts highlight balance and equal interest, carry on as you are, but don't panic!
It was seeing her yesterday that confirmed it. A girl doesn't pat you on the back and call you "dude" in the middle of a hug if she wants romance, damn it. Same old story... passion runs hot, then it's an ice bath and there's no going back. Now I'm just thinking I mightaswell sit her down and tell her everything, since we're firmly in the hated friend zone - why not? It'll make me feel better and maybe take some of the pressure of having to lean away from me when we're sitting side by side. Forgive me, I'm kinda sucking lemons right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post

The first question to ask yourself is how committed you are to Leigh. If you do want to be poly, would you be willing to pursue this even if it meant losing Leigh?
Actually yes, I want to be poly regardless. I've been through this situation before and I can't keep suppressing the person I want to be, even for Leigh. Not anymore. This will happen again. I'm risking everything not for Anne but for myself. Still, I love Leigh and I do want this to work. I really like the idea of having little talks about the situation over time, and having nights where we just embrace what we are to each other without the stress of the ongoing issue.

You ppl are awesome by the way. It still hurts, but at least it's nice to be able to discuss it with those that have been there.
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