Welcome to the forum. I know that I, for one, won't be taking anyone's heads off for using the term primary and secondary - if that describes your relationship configuration, then it's best to use those terms.
Hope you have fun here and that it helps you find what you seek.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb