Ok, so huge step for me today. I could tell something has been a little off with my girlfriend. After a year and a half I can sense her emotional state. It took a while to get the conversation going, but she finally opened up. She was trying to respect my need to go slow and not force me to confront the feelings she has for two other guys right now. (Let's call them NY Boy and Poly Guy to keep in simple and anon.) But seeing her in pain trumped any concern I have for my comfort zone.
I've had the most concern about NY Boy. I was never really sold on his intentions and he's a drummer! So last night he really hurt with somethings he said. I believe that he thought on some level he could keep getting closer to my GF and then win her away. Now that I'm back home and haven't ran for the hills with everything changing, I believe the reality is setting in for him. So he's acting out a bit and trying to "protect his heart" by hurting hers.
This is where I'm proud of myself. She was able to express her pain and frustration with what he's doing. I didn't feel defensive. I didn't go into any passive aggressive "well that's what you get" bullshit. I just listened and sympathized with the girl I love who was in pain. It actually surprised me a bit. I thought it would be much more difficult to hear her expressing love for another guy.
Maybe there's hope for us!
Singing in Seattle