"Wired to fail." Wow, that rings true to me. I'm finding that as I move through the world with my eyes open, which is how it feels now that I know I'm poly, I am seeing clearly all the myriad ways we are programmed to fail.
All the songs, movies, books, news, and other media inundate us constantly with the ideas that you have no say in who you love, loving more than one person is impossible, and that love must end violently and painfully, especially if there is a new love involved. Blech.
I mean, what movie have you seen, ever, that didn't have that plot?
Yeah, we're programmed to either self-deny or hurt each other. It takes creation of something else entirely, a new paradigm, to succeed with love. I don't necessarily mean everyone should be or is poly, but we are certainly up against astronomical odds if we try love the way we have been taught by the outside world.