Mono with a Poly who is married to a Mono
Ok, so here is the story:
I'm a mono, and I've been dating a poly lady who is married. We've been dating for around 4.5 months now. At first there was a really descriptive "contract", but that apparently slipped to the wayside. We are sexually active, enjoy each other's company very much, and would like to start spending the night with each other (We currently have lunch every Wednesday, and hangout on Mondays).
In any other relationship I've had, sleepovers would have transpired a long time ago, but her husband doesn't like the idea of her spending the night with someone, even though he is well aware we have sex. As a Mono I can certainly understand. Yet as someone in a relationship I would very much like some sleepovers here and there.
I brought up the topic with him a few months ago, and the answer was that it at that time was uncomfortable, yet isn't out of the question, and the occasional sleepover would be fine at some point in the future. It was very indistinct as to when this may become possible.
Anyway, I let a few months pass, and then brought it up again. The lady said she would bring it up with her hubby and see what he thinks. Apparently he came out with 1 sleepover every 2 months.
Now I know no one can tell me whether that is fine with me. I can only know that, and it's not fine with me.
I guess I'm just wondering what your guys experiences have been with this or similar issues in poly relationships. I'm also aware that everyone is different, and our situations are different. I'm just looking for some advice and thoughts on time scale in poly relationships.
I was thinking about a sleepover like every two weeks or so. Two months just seems insane.
What do you think?
Thanks in advance!