Ok, had to reply
Hi, I'm Chris from this little place called Holland, very libererated place but moved recently.
I have been in the swinging scene for 25 years, reading your story I regocnized something.
Are you doing this for you or someone else? It looks like you are not doing it for you, let no one push you that is not love.
If you want to discover and you're comfortable, yeah fine it is ok to be nervous, undecided, but if you are pushed, don't go there.
I was Lucky and had lovely partners during my discovery, we loved each other and saw it as the cherry on the top. If we had couples around and we noticed she was pushed, no way, no sex tonight!
We Always stuck to that, it should be fun, if one person isn't happy, no way!
Be good, take care,