Thread: A Dilemma
View Single Post
Old 03-30-2010, 06:07 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,660

Originally Posted by jv02vd View Post
The Questions

Is there a socially acceptable way to handle this situation? I really don't get along well with Mr Poly Guy (partially because he intimidates me, and I get defensive, although he seems nice enough otherwise), so I'm not really up for just joining the open relationship. Is that my choice though? Is it a massive breach of etiquette if I present my case to her and let her decide? Are there any customs or guidelines I can use in situations like these?
I don't know if there are any guidelines really, it is all so individual. I am not sure I understand if you are still intimately involved with her or not. I'm also not clear why you would have to "join" them. Could you not date her? Why would he have to be a part of that?

Have you told her anything about how you feel? That would be a good place to start I think... I mean tell her that you are noticing changes in your depression that are making you stir in ways that you had not been able to be stirred in a long time. That you are having feelings that you haven't had in a long time... loving feelings towards her and others that you didn't think you could have again.. all this in an informative way rather than a hoe and heavy way.

Do you think that this change is permanent? Is it possible to not act just yet and just experience what you feel for a while and see where it takes you? It sounds like she isn't going anywhere so why rush?
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote