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Old 12-03-2013, 05:10 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by hersweetleaf View Post
the only reason I said lying and dishonesty is because, we had plans.
Wasn't disagreeing with that. Even if you hadn't had plans, saying you're at home when you're somewhere else is lying. I could have been more clear by saying something like "Telling a lie is dishonest." and omitting the "if."

if she doesn't want to tell us stuff, that's fine, but when it comes to this sort of thing, when feelings are developing, there shouldn't be anything held back. right?
Again, depends what you mean by "anything." Not knowing every detail about your budding romantic partner doesn't limit your ability to develop feelings for them, unless you allow it to. In that case, it would be your own limitation that prohibits developing feelings, rather than them holding back.

Should she tell you that she had sex with an HIV positive person 6 years ago, even though her tests since then have all come back negative? Some people would say yes, others would say no. There's no correct answer -- what matters is agreeing on an answer that works for the people involved. Many people would believe that, having tested negative, the fact that they once slept with an HIV positive person is irrelevant to their present circumstances. Others would want to know because it could indicate a tendency to take risks. Those are the kinds of things that need to be discussed with regards to honesty. It's important to agree with your partners on what omissions are compatible with honesty in your own lives.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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