"But before all that you could figure out what YOU are"
But I think there lies the crux of my problem. I'm NOT sure if I'm cut out for a Polyamorous relationship or not. It's not been something I've aspired to. I know a lot of our views are shaped by experiences and society around us and I'm willing to entertain the possibility. But it's very scary when you're the one being asked to travel the greatest distance.
Of course my friend isn't me but we have a lot of similar views. Of course his experiences are his and specific to him, but it's hard not to have some of that play in my head when I had a front row seat to the pain it put him through and tearing apart of his family. Most relationships fail for multiple reasons and I'm sure there's a lot more to it that just the poly issue.
She and I have had several conversations about this. They have been very good and very open. I'm just looking for more info from people who may have went through this from my side. I'm looking for some reassurances that it gets better. Because right now it's rough. It's been basically two weeks since this all came up. I've been doing some reading and research, but wanted some human stories.
You're getting a very fresh emotional expression from me right now. It's not all rational and it's not at all figured out. But I expect others have dealt with that before. I just feel VERY alone and not really able to discuss this with many people. So I turned to google and found you.
Bottom line, I love this girl. I know if we go down this road and it doesn't work it will devastate me. I have waited quite sometime in my life to find a true partner. I hate to think it's a perfect match expect in the one way I might ultimately need but have no way of knowing at this point. But that's life.Only way to the other side is going through.
All I know is I'm willing to take this journey but it scares the hell out of me.