I'm going to return to this post and actually reply to many of you. I just wanted to say that I'm reading all of your feedback and it's truly appreciated.
I gathered the strength I needed to talk everything out with the loved ones in my life and hopefully try to find some kind of peace in it. I'm starting that today with a talk with my girlfriend and friends (separately).
I understand that I have a long journey of self-discovery and I'm going to need some restructuring in my life to promote the changes that may happen.
I'm sure I'll return tonight with many more points of interest to seek out guidance. Thank you all so much so far.