I was trying not to post a novel but in doing so left out important details. While I was gone she developed feelings for two different guys. One she's known for years and is apart of a poly relationship.
I'm afraid for agree to including others into her life that I will mean less. Or that ultimately I will lose her to someone else. Of course, that can happen without being poly, but it's a concern. But here's the big fear. That's ultimately I AM a monogamous guy who isn't cut out for this and it will chip at my bit by bit. One of my best friend's marriage ended over this. He just couldn't deal with it after a several years.
I'm not sure about your other questions. My thoughts are still kind of spinning. I have to run out the door, but let me think about them and I'll respond later. Thanks for your reply though.