After reading both your posts, one line jumps out at me, the one GS quoted:
I feel like if I asked him the question you asked about why I need to live my love life by his standards, he would reply with something about the fact that he does not like to see me as "loose" or "slutty" and feels that is what my behavior is.
That he'd say that to your face, outside of an "ethical slut"/reclaiming the term context, bothers me a great deal. I can't honestly say how much of that is me projecting my issues onto your words, but it still makes me nervous.
Regardless of what lovestyle you're practicing, he needs to be okay with your practicing it for the relationship to work. I still haven't found the magical solution to a relationship where one person can't handle the other person's lovestyle... if you do, please let me know. (And a time machine wouldn't hurt!
Wish I could be more help...