I have been in polyamorous relationships for nearly 20 years, and have had surprisingly few horrible bumps. I am married and am also in a semi long distance relationship with another (all above board). He (the non marital partner) is a dom, but considers me his girlfriend, spiritual and life partner and a queen
more than a sub. He has had subs while we were together and always valued and prioritized my time with him, which is hard to arrange due to having families and living far away. But we prioritized our relationship and he put me first. Recently he opened up his current sub relationship to include love and romance and meeting eachother's families, spending holidays together, the whole deal. I see him less frequently now but he swears his feelings for me haven't changed. I am confused because the sub role and partner role have been different, and I do not know how to handle the shift. Do not understand whether I will still fit into the picture. There are only 7 days a week, right? I understand that oxytocin is fun and I know he is excited to love someone who is available. I get that my problems are about me and my needs. But I am devastated. Ready to sabotage and give up something precious to me, and scared I will. Feeling like a jealous child and am feeling quite judgmental of myself about that. What is ok to ask or expect? I have no idea because my brain is getting scrambled and my fears are taking over logic. Any supportive insight would be appreciated. I am feeling so weak, sad and scared.