Originally Posted by Dagferi
Had a feeling things were going to go this way.
My advice is if your wife wants I in her life she needs to relax and enjoy the ride. Do not push for the attendance at poly events or etc. Murf would flip the fuck out if I asked him to attend a poly event. Why? Because he isn't poly. He wants to enjoy his relationship with me without pomp and circumstance. Heck I feel like he does. I have no urge to attend such events either. Butch is a social butterfly so he attends local munches and etc.
Your wife also needs to not be so self centered. She needs to ask herself why its it ok for her to date someone but for you she is not comfortable with it.
Our plan is keep the invitation open for the non discussion groups, I think he may enjoy meeting some of the people, but no pushing!!! Easy access all the way. I am impressed by the people in attendance in the groups. OK, I am new to poly so forgive me if this sounds naive, but these people have their shit together, I think you must have things in order personally to live this life. But it is a huge relief to me hear them say things that I can relate to so fully, since my only other info comes from this website and a couple of FB groups one of our members introduced me to.
Is there some irony in the fact that it's me who is joining this website and the meetup groups?? I have one lover. I am doing so in order to fully understand and embrace poly I guess. I am familiar with the compersion feeling though, I can feel real joy through her feelings.
As far as her being self centered? This entire excursion was prompted by my hotwifing dreams. We evolved to poly more or less from there. I would say she is by far, much less selfish than I
. Like not even close. In fact, I am delighted that she is such the center of attention between K and I, and admits she feels a little spoiled by all the love, attention and sex she receives from two men. I think she deserves it. Of course, affairs of the heart are different, but she has agreed it is something that may take some adjustment to accept if I find a lover as well. I would prefer if we do find another, she would be bisexual, someone she may be able to build a loving relationship with as well.