I think her feelings are some of both. Part of the issue is that we only see each other for a few hours a week. I also think though that she is having some very normal feelings associated with finding one's place in the context of your partner's new relationship.
This burst was primarily emotional, but she talked it through a few days later. I didn't get to say much in the conversation. She was embarrassed and scared and just sort of blurted out her feelings - but not in a way that was unhealthy. She seems to have a good handle on what she's feeling.
She says there is no need for approval per se. What's happened though is that she misunderstood the distribution of time. Part of that is that she does not attend to time in her own life. It does not have the same importance that it does for other people in the sense that she doesn't seem to have an overview of how a given week or day will play out.
I think for now things are okay. I think I'm also feeling a little bit like a "unicorn" myself. The joke has been made...but there are some facets to that role that I can't shake and want to.
Thanks for your thoughts. I really appreciate it!