Thread: Nervous
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Old 03-29-2010, 07:51 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
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Just a bit of an update. I'm working on finding my place in this new dynamic. I worry about feeling like I'm just the boring old wife who's there to take care of the house and the kids and that I'm not exciting and shiny and new anymore. I also worry that what I do will be taken for granted.

My filter that I hear things through was on again last night. But I did address it and hopefully the feeling of being placated so that my husband can have sleepovers will subside. I find that the more that particular issue is talked about the more I am resistant to it. If I can figure out why I will post about it. I think it might just be a part of my personality. Maybe I'm just contrary.

I wish I knew how not to compare myself and my relationship with my husband. These are 2 different relationships and they aren't going to progress in the same way. It's just that he was so very cautious in getting involved with me, at least emotionally, and I see this new relationship developing in a much different way. Which brings up the having been settled for thoughts again.

I'm glad I can come on here and type things out to help me get my thoughts in order a bit. Over all it's nice to see him happy and it's good that he's getting himself out of his little room. I'm just finding that sometimes I need it to be about me. So when it is about me, either on line or on the phone I need it to be all about me without a conversation going on with his new girlfriend too. Hopefully that doesn't make me selfish. I would also expect him to let me know when it's ok for me to contact him when they're together and when it is their alone time. I also need to know at what time that alone time is over.

I'm not enjoying this roller coaster. I'll be glad when things aren't so up and down anymore. It's already better than it was last week. I'll be ok to keep the highs I just don't want to have the lows anymore.

I got me some cuddles on Saturday evening. It was very comfortable and very hard to leave. I'm looking forward to booking a date soon. I'm not sure what else to say here that isn't going to end in me embarrassing myself so I'll just leave it at that for now.

-Derby
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