Yes I totally identify with you say about labels helping find clarity in times of confusion. I resist labels but they are often necessary for communication. I work with brand development so choosing what labels you want to identify with can be very important. An extra tricky element of my poly relationship is that my partner and I work together as entertainers on stage and the gossip spreads quickly so in some ways it is hard to separate our relationship identity from our brand identity. As a public figure, I need to prepare a quick and easy-to-digest label for when people ask about our alternative lifestyle choice. If I am poly (or even mono in a poly) I want to be so with confidence and clarity so I can help represent this lifestyle appropriately.
When I was experiencing relationship problems I realized I had few friends to turn to whom I could share with and be understood. Finally I googled "open relationships" and "swinging" (my partner and I tried swinging but realized quickly that we are not into the whole sex with strangers thing) but it finally led me to find the word "polyamorous" which is a label that totally opened doors for me and I am so thankful to find this community to share with. <3