baby steps, giant leaps
Wow. What a night. WI and I had a date night, AM was out to a dinner with old friends. WI and I spent a huge part of the night talking about being out, and how. To whom? And why? And we talked about WI and her "latency," meaning whether she's actually bi or not. (yes, yes, I know, she and AM are lovers, but to them, this is not an obvious sentence.)
Then AM met us downtown. For people "in the closet," we sure weren't. Kisses in the middle of the street. Holding hands at the bar afterward, and not letting go as acquaintances stopped by to say hello. Everyone holding everyone, wrapped up into each other. Intense.
AM wouldn't come home with us, though. Repeated invitations, and her personal demons chasing her, with her not telling us why.
We got home. WI was distraught. Wanting closeness. We live within walking distance of each other. "You want to see her, right?" Nodding head. (I can't possibly do justice to her story of the day - the "latency" story is a huge event, with her coming out to me about women in her life, and the intensity of it and the fear of it, because of what it might mean to us and our marriage - me, I'm not worried, she won't leave me, and everything else is her finding out her deepest and truest self -- how could I not love that?!?).
Go. Go see her.
She had tears as she walked out. I texted AM, "don't lock your door." And it's been over an hour.
Good. They need this. They need each other so badly, and won't SAY it.
I swear, I'm wrapped up in too many stories. There's the married couple that is dating the same woman. There's the woman with a traumatic past. There's a wife discovering her long term desire for relationships with women. There's a lover discovering that her desired partner's wife is as lovable as he is. There's... too much. Writing it out like this, it's all cliché. But tonight, it's a series of giant leaps, all anchored in baby steps.
Call me crazy, for the upheaval involved: I'm happier, the longer it takes WI to get home. They need each other.
This is how we end up intertwining, right? This is when it's my turn to help them be closer. It feels right, comfortable, safe.
What a night.