The Jealousy Thing:
When we had decided to open our marriage, neither of us were greatly concerned with feelings of bad jealousy. I had a good reason to think I would be cool.
A long time ago, a couple years after we had just got married, Red and I went to an SCA event. No fires on the ground allowed, they had to be in braziers. It was late evening, and we were sitting around a fire. Some one complained that a log that was too big had been put into the brazier. It wouldn't burn up by morning.
I said, "I can make it burn."
So we stayed up late talking, and I did the 'manly art of fire poking'. I kept a good bed of coals around the log, did what I could to keep flames licking up it, and eroded it so that it would break up quicker.
I glanced over to see that Red and a male friend of hers was cuddling. With his hand, under her shirt. Fondling her tits. 8-o
I was shocked, 'that man is feeling up my wife!'. But then I decided it was no big deal. It was great that she had such a close friend. They were hardly sneaking around behind my back.
So I went back to my task. But now I knew that the 'manly art of fire poking was not so manly an art as female groping'.
Joking aside, I felt good for her. This was my first experience of compersion, at least, as a married man re his wife.
Both of us have tonnes of respect for the other as people. Neither of us has felt that marriage means we own the other in any way. She can like or love someone independently of myself and that does not affect my relationship to her. The period of my marriage with Red, has easily been the happiest time of my life. So I feel very, very secure in our relationship.
When the three of us jumped into bed with Dom I didn't feel the tiniest shred of negative feeling. She was so beautiful making love to him. I thrilled to see the fun she was having.
It is easier to feel compersion when you are right there taking part, I think. Perhaps, if later one of us is off doing things (sexual or otherwise) with a friend and the other is sitting at home, then we will see some of the jealousy thing come up. But so far, it is a non-issue.
EDIT 2010, April 1.
Dom and Red had a romantic afternoon while I was at work yesterday. I heard about it in a call, just as I was heading home. On the trip home I was wondering how I felt. A bit disappointed that I was not there. I thought, "My wife was screwing a guy." (Didn't seem right.) "Red was screwing a guy." (Better.) I thought, "Red and Dom were making love." (That felt best.) No major or minor jealousy other than I was a bit envious that they were having fun and I couldn't join them.
Last edited by RickPlus; 04-02-2010 at 05:28 PM.