Good questions, Marcus. No, I am not looking for my husband to "despise" this person. Let me be a bit more clear.
She told him, completely unprovoked by any interaction we ever had with her, or that he told her about, that I was abusive, controlling, and that he deserved better. He does not understand that was an attack on me and my character. He does not see that she was trying to cause trouble in our marriage at all. He does not see that she was likely angry at him too, for sexually rejecting her. He wants to see her as some well-meaning person who was just "upset."
I am very sensitive to this because someone he dated briefly in the distant past threatened me with bodily harm, and he reacted the same way. "She didn't mean it, she's a terrific person, she was just upset."
I want a zero-tolerance policy on people who seek to cause discord and extreme drama, and I want him to condemn that sort of behavior so we don't end up with yet another person like that in our lives. I do not need him to condemn the person, but I do need him to condemn the behavior. He refuses, because he doesn't want to recognize that the behavior existed, even if he did stop talking to her.
Last edited by scarletzinnia; 11-29-2013 at 05:22 PM.