View Single Post
  #7  
Old 11-29-2013, 05:04 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Haltom City, TX
Posts: 1,305
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletzinnia View Post
What bothers me now is that he cannot seem to to see that his "friend" had any negative motivations towards me and our relationship... He may no longer talk to her, but he doesn't have a problem at all with her ethics, he thinks she just got upset but basically meant well.
What is your desired outcome here? You want him to hate her guts? To say mean things about her?

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletzinnia View Post
I am trying to let go of all this, but I just can't. I feel I need him to recognize what he was dealing with, and he just refuses. This makes me feel very unsafe.
It's important to understand that people don't respond to challenges the same. He seemed to identify that this girl was bad news and eventually cut her off. He gave her another shot, but cut her off again when it was evident that she hadn't changed to an acceptable degree. The fact that he doesn't despise her would simply suggest that he is perhaps more emotionally mature than you are.

I say, stop resenting his attitude about it and start admiring his ability to make safe decisions without being emotionally overwhelmed. Seems to me he is doing just fine.
__________________
Independent (Anarchist) Non-Monogamy

Me: male, 40, straight, single
Reply With Quote