Originally Posted by Norwegianpoly
2. The kid anology only works when you have felt poly (plus it does not sit well in most people's stomacks to compare sexual love with the love for a child). The best anology is to say it is simply about love, but a generous love.
For me (Mono), the analogies that work for me are more of a twist on the typical "kid" analogy - not "you don't love one more than the other" - that already supposes that you're starting with more than one to begin with and doesn't convey the rationale behind WHY there are more than one.
What hit home with me were the questions, "Why did you have more than one kid?" or "Why do you have more than one friend? Why do you make friends?"
And it's not about one person not being able to fulfill all your needs (which I really do hate as a rationale), but it's just about wanting more. Period. Finding something that clicks in a friend, or wanting another child. Not due to anything lacking anywhere else.
That's the only thing that got through to me. Your mileage may, of course, vary. Good luck, though - it seems that JP and A have some things to work out between the two of them before anything can get on track with you and JP. Glad B's very supportive of you.
Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 15; and PokéGirl, 12), two cats, one house, many projects.
My partner. Poly.
Chops' other nesting partner, Poly. Also in a relationship with Shaggy
Chops' other other partner (heh). Married, Poly.
Poly, in a relationship with Xena
External mono/poly blog: From Baltic to Boardwalk