Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
I find it VERY helpful to remember that I can only control myself. Period.
I can love someone forever. That's my right.
I can enjoy them so long as they wish to be around me. That's my right.
But I can not tell them how to love me or for how long and I can not tell them who they love or when.
I understand wanting exclusivity-I'm in a pretty exclusive V. But as soon as we TRULY accept that we can not control or change another person-and we learn to take them for WHO THEY ARE and not who they are TO US we gain a MUCH deeper intimacy imho.
Yes, LR covers it nicely here.
Not only can we NOT control others - we SHOULDN'T ! That's really primary to polyamory and a different view of how we relate with others. But we do still have our egos and insecurities and keeping them all in their proper box is an ongoing project.
I say just apply the same thought process to your new loves as you have come to between you and your husband. Celebrate it.