Thread: Help!!!
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Old 03-29-2010, 02:53 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I find it VERY helpful to remember that I can only control myself. Period.

I can love someone forever. That's my right.
I can enjoy them so long as they wish to be around me. That's my right.

But I can not tell them how to love me or for how long and I can not tell them who they love or when.

I understand wanting exclusivity-I'm in a pretty exclusive V. But as soon as we TRULY accept that we can not control or change another person-and we learn to take them for WHO THEY ARE and not who they are TO US we gain a MUCH deeper intimacy imho.
Yes, LR covers it nicely here.

Not only can we NOT control others - we SHOULDN'T ! That's really primary to polyamory and a different view of how we relate with others. But we do still have our egos and insecurities and keeping them all in their proper box is an ongoing project.
I say just apply the same thought process to your new loves as you have come to between you and your husband. Celebrate it.

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