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Old 11-29-2013, 01:53 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,448

Originally Posted by d0r0thea View Post
We officially opened our marriage 2 weeks ago. Prior to officially opening the marriage I met 2 men online. Older and single. I had sex with one of them after our 3rd date. The other one was in town for business and due to time constraint we only made out. But I know next time he is in town we will have sex. My sexual experience is zilch. I was a virgin when I got married.
How long have you been with your husband? I assume you have sex with him, so your sexual exp. is not zilch. It's just limited to one guy.

What led you to cheat? Is your husband fine you did? Was he cheating himself? Are you both really totally OK with your spouse fucking others? What if feelings develop between you and one of your lovers, or between him and his, if he has any?

Common sense tells me men want sex. A no brainer. I think what I want is just to have some fun, meet interesting people, experiment, new experiences. The 2 men I have already met have become good friends.
Good friends you can fuck. FWBs. So, why do you need more? Need to sow some wild oats, after being a virgin on your wedding night?

My issue is I am on OKCupid. I have met a crap load of men who are looking for someone like me. Sex with not strings attached- Which I am ok with. BUT here is my problem. They keep pairing me with men just like my husband. Sex driven, overly confident, over achievers and aggressive. Makes me wonder what that says about me;D. I don't want to be the most popular girl in school because "I put out"

I guess I am just asking for tips on the whole online dating thing. What boundaries should there be. I have no experience.
I've been on OKC for almost 5 years. Especially when I first joined, I was deluged with offers. I am picky. I want to be safe! I always insisted on a public first date (with a couple rare exceptions after really good honest open chats for weeks). I am not going to go to his place, or invite him to mine, or go to a hotel unless we talk in public first. A screening, an audition, if you will. Lot of weirdos out there.

I assume you won't fuck just anyone. So spend your time determining just what kind of man you want (if your current 2 lovers and your husband really aren't enough), then go and search for him. If you don't want a man who only wants sex, find a guy who also meets other criteria, shares other interests of yours, is open to doing activities outside the bedroom. At least dinner first! Cuddling on the couch, walks in a park, a movie, museums, concerts, whatever floats your boat. It can take a while to find these people, so be prepared to be patient and do the "work."
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's bf for 5 years
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