Idealist Poly Blog Part 6- the weekend
My weekend was good! I went out to dinner with Katherine on Friday night. The weather is so good this time of year in the South, so we found a restaurant where we could sit outside. We had these delicious drinks….basically a cosmopolitan on the rocks……I like mine with a premium vodka like Belvedere, with Grand Marnier, cranberry juice and a twist of lime. We had crab cakes and fish tacos!! We talked and enjoyed each other’s company.
I know I am bisexual and that having women to love in my life is very important to me. Since I’ve already been in a lesbian relationship for 12 years; and I found that I missed having a male partner…….I have struggled with having to choose between a heterosexual lifestyle and a lesbian lifestyle.
If sexual orientation is something a person is born with, but lifestyle is something a person chooses……then how do you live a bisexual lifestyle? This has been my dilemma. Until now……polyamory is the answer for me.
So- Katherine is not in a place where she is willing to let go of having male lover(s). She identifies herself as bisexual without ever having acted on it (except for once with me. I had introduced her to a guy I’ve known for many years, but I’ve never been romantic or sexual with him. She and he hit it off and the three of us ended up having a sexual three way which was very fun and enjoyable for all of us. But…..sadly…..a week or two later, the guy decided to enter into a monogamous relationship with a woman he had dated recently. She wanted to get back together and he agreed. So, it was disappointing to me and Katherine because we were looking forward to more time together as a triad). So- anyway; we talked Friday night about finding a guy that we both like and feel compatible with to form a triad or V with. So, I am really happy about that. Considering that we (she and I) are both soooo picky about the people we become involved with, and the fact that we don’t tend to be attracted to the same type of guys, it seems like an impossible thing, but we are just going to “put it out there” and see what happens.
I found it funny that she and I ended our evening fairly early which meant I was already home by 9PM when Charles called and wanted to know where we were. I had told him and Holland that I would be with Katherine that evening and he had gotten a “yard pass” from Holland to come out and find us. I don’t think he is the guy that Katherine and I are looking for. Holland is his primary and although she and I get along well, the two of them (Charles and Holland) are pretty co-dependent on each other. Charles and I have been able to manage to continue our relationship, but I’m not willing to attempt bringing Charles into a V with me and Katherine. The reason is because Holland is new to this lifestyle and I don’t want to be the one to cause her discomfort. I know her well enough and I know what she is okay with for now. I can introduce her to guys for now, but will hold off on introducing Charles to other women (for now).
Charles did end up spending the night with me and he was so sweet. It was so obvious that he just wants to be loved. And having two women who love him (in very different ways) is something he is really enjoying. Charles is interesting (like a lot of guys, I guess) because he often looks like a biker (with tattoos and lots of leather) but after making love when he is lying there, vulnerable….well OMG……that is why I can’t give up male lovers. That sweet time with a man is the most precious thing!!
I spent Saturday evening with Richard since his daughter got married. It was good because I got to see two of his brothers and two sister-in-laws along with nieces and nephews that I haven’t seen in several years. The wedding was fun….I was glad I brought my iPod with party music since we were able to hook that up to the sound system and I managed to get everyone up dancing at the reception!!!
Richard spent the night Saturday night and I just loved him!!! It was an awesome night too. It was fairly early when we got home from the wedding and we weren’t ready to go to sleep yet. I dressed in my stockings with high heels, garter belts etc. under a dress and did a strip tease for Richard which was something I had never done with him (even though we’ve known each other for around 6 years). He loved it!!! He is my sweet man…..we have such an emotional connection. We were “friends first” when we met and that friendship has continued on. I feel very fortunate in my life right now.
Everything isn’t going as good as my love life. The economy has really hurt my business and we are struggling in that arena. So- I’m going to post this and head to the office!