Hey, thanks for the responses
I sit down and look at everything, and I don't feel bad about any of the decisions I made, and I don't feel bad in myself for anything, but...
Anyway, enough impotent whining
I needed to just air some of this and I suppose get confirmation that I'm not some calculating intruder. I feel both elated and really crushed that she might leave, so... just... *sigh*
Thanks for the suggestions