View Single Post
Old 11-29-2013, 03:11 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 431

Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post

Even after that last post when I tried to stop saying "blacks" and start saying "people" instead? Why can't you affirm my efforts instead of continually shooting me down for my past mistakes?

Of course I care more about someone's way of life than I do their skin color! Their skin color isn't even as significant as their clothing color, since at least they can usually pick out their clothing color and that in turn maybe says something at least about their preferences.


But, but ... what I've been hearing is that many American descendants of slaves do indeed practice polyamory: It walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck; they're just not comfortable calling it a duck (or anything else for that matter). They don't want to call it anything, they don't want to attend our meetings, they just want to "live the life." Which is their right.

I don't feel *entitled* to have people of every ethnicity attend my poly potlucks. It's just something I thought might be cool if all relevant persons wanted to agree to it.


Yes and coincidentally it's already been pointed out in various ways and by various people posting on this thread that "black polyamory" is practiced amongst some people's cultures but not others -- depending on religion, traditions, and so forth.


Umm yeah, sure did. (And I read those posts. Paid attention to them as well.)


I began to realize that as soon as I was old enough to understand what the words "race" and "culture" meant. The problem here isn't about me needing to be taught to realize it. I'm already there. The problem is me figuring out how to communicate that I realize it in such a way that others can understand and believe. Frankly, I think I've made every reasonable effort to do so. There comes a time when the ball is in the listener's court. That is, the listener must actually *listen* -- not just temporarily bide their time while thinking up a devastating retort.

Have you listened to me? Have you read all my posts in this thread? Did you put yourself in my shoes when you read them, or did you merely scan them for weaknesses? You seem to have quite a penchant for putting people (especially me since a diplomat makes such an easy target) down. Do you do this so as to boost yourself up? There are better ways. What Stephen R. Covey calls a win-win. I don't have to lose in order for you to win. It is possible that the both of us can win. But we've got to stop fighting against each other first.

ColorsWolf, I am just about done with you. I've cautioned you before that I'd only take so much abuse before I'd stop responding to your posts, and we are now teetering on the brink of that change. If you desire that change, any little push now will convince me fully that you and I are done talking. If you don't desire that change, than start treating me as an equal, not as a recalcitrant pupil.

Personally, I think we've wandered far afield from what would really bring diverse poly cultures together. Instead we are arguing about why this or that word is wrong, a classic downfall of the stereotypical polyamorist. Polyamorists are (prejudicially) known for aggressively defending *their* definitions of words and what words *they* think we should use and when *they* think we ought to use them.

I wonder if people who descended in the United States from slaves haven't noticed that about "white polyamorists," and as a result want to step as far away from our semantic battles as possible. If you don't call it anything, then there's no label to argue about. Seems to simplify things, kinda ...

Anyway, I am tired of the criticism and the abuse and the disturbing reversals of personality face just when I least expect it. You need to be more consistent. Either decide that you like me and that you truly support me, or pull that rug out from under me now and be done with it.

This may be the last post I write and direct to you. I'll be thinking about that. It's also very possible the next post I direct at you will simply say, "Sorry man, but we're done."

I beg you not to put me in that position. There's a first time for everything, but I'd rather there not be a first time for this.

Now, I suggest we all get quite back on topic, meaning: What can we do to get polyamorists of every ethnicity to get and meet together more than they have up until now? You're welcome to answer that to accomplish the objective, we need to speak to people of other cultures in logical, non-offensive words. But (and this is the last time I'll ask), don't answer in that or any other way unless you can stop nitpicking at the motes in my eyes while ignoring the beams in your eyes. Remove the beams, and then you'll be able to see clearly to pick out the motes (without plucking my eyes out along with them).

No more kdt26417 versus ColorsWolf nonsense. This thread isn't supposed to be about our apparent enmity with each other. It's supposed to be about getting polys of diverse ethnicities together to join hands, both on the web and in real life.

Enough said. I've tried long and hard to please you and find common ground you and I can share. You've resisted me at every turn, either condescendingly or angrily. Well it takes a lot before I'll admit to being angry in public like this, but I'm admitting it now. *Don't* push me any further. It won't help you, and it won't help this website.


Grip as in recording, as in grip with a microphone, as in "tying" in to a sound board, as in some assholes justify gripping someone's car or house before they can trust them, but usually such an invasion of privacy is only viewed as acceptable to people who believe themselves superior to others.

Because if you do not have anyone gripped, than there must be a hell of lot of private messaging going on, because it your replies state to me very clearly that you either are an abusive male who doesn't really care if non-caucasians show up to your potlucks.

The only thing I can't tell is whether or not you are caucasian, if you are not I guess you might find this whole thread amusing, while that may be so, it is actually a lot closer to manipulative "playing" with people against their will, as if you enjoy these arguments like others have on other threads, they are willing to bicker back and forth for 22 pages, but they won't just say whether or not the are for equal rights or whether they support bigoted laws which wrongfully discriminate.

and if you are caucasian, if you were serious about being sensitive to offending minorities, you wouldn't keep throwing in jokes about topic, you wouldn't continue to fill the post with sarcasm, slow either you are extremely lost on your ability to learn how to respect those who are not the same as you, or you are of the very minority you are being insensitive to, which is a pretty callous think to do considering that some of us here are actually trying help instead of supplementing inferiority complexes.

So which it?

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 11-29-2013 at 04:20 AM.
Reply With Quote