View Single Post
Old 11-29-2013, 12:15 AM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
I see the same type of fear-mongering in these threads.

- Don`t let him call you this, or let her call you that.
- Don`t arrange your relationships this or that way,....etc, etc...because then you won`t be respected.
Why buy the poly relationship for the long-term, when you can get the short-term for free, right ?
Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Here is the difference, and where the slippery-slope begins : It`s one thing to choose your own words for yourself, it`s another thing, to put those words on people in your life, and those you meet. It very much becomes ' You can`t use those words around me.'
The hiding, and hoop-jumping snowballs. Then it becomes some type of quest to banish the word from popular use.
Are you on a mission to dismantle the use of polyamory ? Or, anchors ? lol,...probably not. What you are evoking, is personal choice. Where as with most of these type of 'word' threads, there is an agenda starting to take place.
It's unfortunate to see this kind of reaction to a discussion about a topic. When a poster is firmly against using hierarchical terms for their own associations and chooses to express it here, this is not remotely the same as telling someone ELSE what to do. Hell, even when a poster strongly recommends against using certain terms in YOUR relationship, that still isn't an attempt to limit your choices.

This is a discussion board. On discussion boards there are different opinions expressed. That is THE POINT of a discussion board like this. I have to say, if someone is tender and defensive about their viewpoints that the mere expression of a differing view makes them feel put upon, then perhaps they should stay away from an online forum whose express purpose is to openly discuss these topics.

Statements like the one quoted above stink of anti-thought, to me. It is grouping people who disagree with using hierarchical terms with "fear mongers" or trying to preach an "agenda" that is the enemy of growth. What is so wrong with learning that not everyone in the world agrees with you? Why try to shut it down?

I am not swayed by these anti-discussion posts but I wanted to make sure and respond to this for the sake of any lurkers who might be. Dismiss that kind of thing as bullshit and speak your mind.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I thought the purpose of the thread was simply to discuss terminology, not behavior, our own terminology preferences, and/or responses to the article RP posted. Am I missing something?
I'm always surprised when I hear the "Don't tell me how to live my life" responses. I've heard it a number of times since I've been on this board and I always roll my eyes. Having an opinion and being an oppressor are two different things, folks.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
Reply With Quote