Thanks so much for your reply, vandalin. I know you're right about the honesty factor and that's exactly what I want. I don't want any hiding or lying, I feel so done with that bullshit that I did in past relationships
I never tried to be open/poly in my past relationships, and in retrospect I really regret sticking to the monogamy model, because it just made me into a liar
I think I need to prepare a kind of...uh..."speech." I mean, not that formal, lol, but something like:
"You remember that guy, M, that I told you about, that I met in [place we met]? Well, like I told you, we've been communicating on Facebook. I'm attracted to him, interested in him, and I'd like the freedom to explore that attraction. I'm 100% committed to you, so it's not about that. What do you think?"
Does that sound okay? I'm sure he would then have many questions, including:
"What do you mean? Like you want to have sex with him?"
And I could say, "Well, I don't know yet...that would be a ways off, if at all, since he is so far away. I just didn't want to keep anything from you."
I'm sure he might also ask if anything happened when I met him (it didn't), and why I am so interested. How much should I say if he asks why I like the other? Like, I don't want to gush about M, ya know? This is really hard for me...I want to be completely honest, but I don't want to shove anything in his face, either.