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Old 11-28-2013, 04:47 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,114

Originally Posted by Norwegianpoly View Post
Well, I just meant that it is more appropriate to be "demanding" when you have known each other a long long time and really know each other's personality and the issues between you. Better yet, to just be nice to each other and talk civilized yet honest about things, still in most cases there are once in a while neccesary to use ultimatums and vetos and I think as a wife I have a right to do that. Of course you can always decide that a new person should have such rights but then it needs to be actively negotiated (hopefully one will negotiate anyway, but I guess you might know what I mean. Putting in the years gives you something to expect).
Well, I guess anyone can TRY to use ultimatums/vetoes...but I, personally, would not want to be in a relationship with someone who thought that that was "appropriate" or saw it as "right".

Sure, in a longer relationship (whether married or not) there might be more of a reason to forgive such tactics ... but if any relationship is at the point of ultimatums/vetoes then I think a whole lot of communication has been neglected.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ

My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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