Primary is an all right term for discussions. It helps you structure your thoughts. I am a bit ambivalent about the usefullness in commen conversation. For once, it is a very poly-made term. No-one outside of the community will know what I was talking about if I said that my two men are my primaries, or if I said I have a primary and a secondary turning primary
Right now, I think reffering to them as my husband and my boyfriend works just fine. Those are terms everybody knows the meaning of. My husband is the one I am legally married to, and we own our appartment together. My boyfriend is a new relationship and he lives in another part of the world. I sometimes refer to them as "my boys", which I think is cute especially since I don't have any children yet
We are considering relocating my boyfriend to my city and have him live close by if possible. I know I can not marry my boyfriend too, but if things work out and we are still together in a few years, I would consider calling him my husband, as well. Then the two of them would be equal to my eyes.
The issues as still weather or not he would share an appartment/house with me and my husband. There is also the issue of what will happen with children in the next few years. Should my husband have an extra vote due to our long relationship, and what about agreements made before my boyfriend entered the picture? But that is the material for years of discussions with everybody involved.