It is so not ok to be fluent-bonded with (or perhaps even sleep with at all) people who does not practice safe sex and are secretive/not upfront. It is not the first time I hear of people behaving like this. Once a whole network had to do HIV tests due to a women "forgetting to mention" that she had a boyfriend whom she were fluent bonded with, too, and who was not tested and not informed... it was like the worst case scenario of the "Opening up" safer sex chapter. Protect yourself from "teenagers" who only want the fun and not the responsability of an adult.
It is also not ok to bring lots of drama into other relationships. However, I belive one should work on this together. When I finally dropped my "ex", it was partly due to the relation causing my husband to feel angry and stressed out. My husband has had his veto's here and there in regards to him, party due to this drama. Before we embarded on poly, I veto'ed a women who clearly did not know what she was doing, I just sensed that she could potentially give us lots of grief (she claimed to not be interested in my husband, yet started acting jealous of me in public etc.).
If the deal is "everybody decices for themselves", it can not be any fluent bondedness. Period.
Last edited by Norwegianpoly; 11-28-2013 at 02:15 PM.