Originally Posted by pulliman
Write or don't, but definitely be there as support and as a presence. Point JP back home, since that's where everyone seems to want him to be, and also be present.
Thanks for the input, pullman and london!
I'm not sure _how_ to be _there_ as a presence. Maybe I wasn't clear. We're not in contact now. The writing is to my draft folders, or to e-mails that I send to myself for now. They'll get sent later if we get in communication again. Being in touch behind A's back got him in trouble in the _first_ place. I feel like my place is to be in contact _if_ I'm contacted, but to otherwise remain silent.
The one place where we agreed (after she got pissed the _first_ time) is that I would let him know when we are visiting my B-I-L and M-I-L in Minneapolis in the spring. He was hoping to see me there - has lots of connections there. If I haven't heard from him by then, my plan is to send the e-mail to both his account and A's account, so there's no hiding.