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Old 11-27-2013, 08:45 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,418

"Kevin, I just think you focus too much on the color of someone's skin or what their 'Race' is, is all I am saying."
Even after that last post when I tried to stop saying "blacks" and start saying "people" instead? Why can't you affirm my efforts instead of continually shooting me down for my past mistakes?

Of course I care more about someone's way of life than I do their skin color! Their skin color isn't even as significant as their clothing color, since at least they can usually pick out their clothing color and that in turn maybe says something at least about their preferences.

"If you notice that some people of a certain culture are not so numerous in participating in polyamory then that in my opinion is what we are talking about here."
But, but ... what I've been hearing is that many American descendants of slaves do indeed practice polyamory: It walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck; they're just not comfortable calling it a duck (or anything else for that matter). They don't want to call it anything, they don't want to attend our meetings, they just want to "live the life." Which is their right.

I don't feel *entitled* to have people of every ethnicity attend my poly potlucks. It's just something I thought might be cool if all relevant persons wanted to agree to it.

"I am sure there are plenty people with 'black skin' that have polyamorous relationships, it's not like 'people with black skin are allergic to polyamory,' it all has to do with the culture they were raised with and what kind of person they are."
Yes and coincidentally it's already been pointed out in various ways and by various people posting on this thread that "black polyamory" is practiced amongst some people's cultures but not others -- depending on religion, traditions, and so forth.

"For example, we had some people here talking about how it is in some Caribbean cultures and others talked about American Black Cultures, etc."
Umm yeah, sure did. (And I read those posts. Paid attention to them as well.)

"I am glad you are learning more about people firsthand and I am glad you are beginning to realize that there is so much more than just the surface when it comes to people such as the color of their skin or their 'race.'"
I began to realize that as soon as I was old enough to understand what the words "race" and "culture" meant. The problem here isn't about me needing to be taught to realize it. I'm already there. The problem is me figuring out how to communicate that I realize it in such a way that others can understand and believe. Frankly, I think I've made every reasonable effort to do so. There comes a time when the ball is in the listener's court. That is, the listener must actually *listen* -- not just temporarily bide their time while thinking up a devastating retort.

Have you listened to me? Have you read all my posts in this thread? Did you put yourself in my shoes when you read them, or did you merely scan them for weaknesses? You seem to have quite a penchant for putting people (especially me since a diplomat makes such an easy target) down. Do you do this so as to boost yourself up? There are better ways. What Stephen R. Covey calls a win-win. I don't have to lose in order for you to win. It is possible that the both of us can win. But we've got to stop fighting against each other first.

ColorsWolf, I am just about done with you. I've cautioned you before that I'd only take so much abuse before I'd stop responding to your posts, and we are now teetering on the brink of that change. If you desire that change, any little push now will convince me fully that you and I are done talking. If you don't desire that change, than start treating me as an equal, not as a recalcitrant pupil.

Personally, I think we've wandered far afield from what would really bring diverse poly cultures together. Instead we are arguing about why this or that word is wrong, a classic downfall of the stereotypical polyamorist. Polyamorists are (prejudicially) known for aggressively defending *their* definitions of words and what words *they* think we should use and when *they* think we ought to use them.

I wonder if people who descended in the United States from slaves haven't noticed that about "white polyamorists," and as a result want to step as far away from our semantic battles as possible. If you don't call it anything, then there's no label to argue about. Seems to simplify things, kinda ...

Anyway, I am tired of the criticism and the abuse and the disturbing reversals of personality face just when I least expect it. You need to be more consistent. Either decide that you like me and that you truly support me, or pull that rug out from under me now and be done with it.

This may be the last post I write and direct to you. I'll be thinking about that. It's also very possible the next post I direct at you will simply say, "Sorry man, but we're done."

I beg you not to put me in that position. There's a first time for everything, but I'd rather there not be a first time for this.

Now, I suggest we all get quite back on topic, meaning: What can we do to get polyamorists of every ethnicity to get and meet together more than they have up until now? You're welcome to answer that to accomplish the objective, we need to speak to people of other cultures in logical, non-offensive words. But (and this is the last time I'll ask), don't answer in that or any other way unless you can stop nitpicking at the motes in my eyes while ignoring the beams in your eyes. Remove the beams, and then you'll be able to see clearly to pick out the motes (without plucking my eyes out along with them).

No more kdt26417 versus ColorsWolf nonsense. This thread isn't supposed to be about our apparent enmity with each other. It's supposed to be about getting polys of diverse ethnicities together to join hands, both on the web and in real life.

Enough said. I've tried long and hard to please you and find common ground you and I can share. You've resisted me at every turn, either condescendingly or angrily. Well it takes a lot before I'll admit to being angry in public like this, but I'm admitting it now. *Don't* push me any further. It won't help you, and it won't help this website.

Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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