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Old 03-27-2010, 08:14 PM
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RickPlus RickPlus is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 53

The next week - Do we WANT to be poly?

Red and I talked about that party a lot in the next week. Red was a bit put out. If people are going to be naked and screwing at a party, it is only polite to let ALL the guests know. She told me not to beat myself up. I didn't do bad considering the social situation.

We talked a LOT about our marriage and if we wanted to open it up.

Did we want to screw C1 & C2? Sure. We liked them and they are both gorgeous people a bit younger than me.

This is when the magic of polyamory started to first really affect us. We were talking about hopes and problems in our marriage that had been half forgotten for a long time. We had been in a pretty good place. Did we want to risk that for the dream of something that might be better?

I don't want to say that I was appreciating Red more. But I was paying more attention to her. She took on a glow for me as talked about our hopes and fears of poly relationships. Her thoughts were sensible and courageous.

There was one thing she said that hurt me. We are both into BDSM and switch for each other. Both of us really enjoy being subs, but I always felt that I made a fair dom. But Red is not into pain (so SM is out) and when I dom her, there are a few things she likes - which I do. Everything is fine, right?

But she said that she wouldn't mind finding a 'real' dom.

What??? What would a real dom do that I was not willing to do??? No answer to this when I asked her. I'm not sure that she really knows herself, she says she can't express it. I was a bit miffed, but part of poly is finding people who fill different needs. Ah, well. Looking on the bright side, if we do find a real dom, I might learn some things on how to please her better.

A good dom is hard to find, but I thought that C1 was a dom and C2 a sub. This might work out.

We decided to open up our marriage. I started reading more on poly and eventually found this forum. Red finished reading "The Ethical Slut".

The day of the party with C1 & C2 came. We dressed up nice and packed a discrete toy bag with condoms, latex gloves some towels etc., just in case.

At the party we had a great time, played a game, had a nice meal. Then when I thought that the time was right, I mentioned that I hadn't really answered their question last week. But that Pasha and I had opened up our marriage and we would be honored to play with them if they wanted.

They said that they had changed their minds.

So for another 3 or 4 hours we sat around and talked with them on all sorts of things. BDSM, mores of the European upper class and how nice and laid back the upper crust are about sex, their past, our past, etc. Then we went home.

We had asked them to host this party because we were renovating our kitchen. (They had hosted more often than us so we certainly owed them.) We would host the next visit. So we OWED them a visit at our house.

But I was pretty put out.

Well being hurt is OK, but acting hurt is something I can control. Do we want to pay off the social debt and then dump them? That seemed a bit stupid, we liked socializing with them before these last two parties. They are interesting people and we had enjoyed their company. Dropping them felt like cutting off my nose to spite my face. But no question the relationship had changed.

Red and I decided C1 & C2 or no. We were opening up our relationship.

I sent a polite, "thanks for the dinner, sorry if things were awkward" email. Then C2 replied saying things were a bit complicated for them right now, maybe later they would change their minds. Years ago, I had spent some time waiting for some young sweet thing to change her mind and decide she did want to fuck me after all. Screw that, I had better things to do. We would be proper towards C1 & C2 and try to keep the friendship.

But we would not wait around, we would start dating.

Last edited by RickPlus; 03-27-2010 at 10:49 PM.
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